


You Make Me Strong

by louisiloveyoutothemoonandback



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Caring Harry, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Louis, M/M, Protective Harry, non-au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 20:05:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2163498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louisiloveyoutothemoonandback/pseuds/louisiloveyoutothemoonandback
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis was not weak. At least that’s what he always said to himself in the hope that maybe it would be the truth if he believed it enough. Well, maybe it didn’t work like that but he tried. He always tried.</p>
<p>Or: The one where Louis just really needs his Hazza.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Make Me Strong

**Author's Note:**

> So… this is my first fic ever. It’s just a short oneshot and I hope you guys like it. (btw I’m not a native english speaker. So please excuse my mistakes.)  
> I hope you enjoy it and I would love to hear your opinion!

Louis was not weak. At least that’s what he always said to himself in the hope that maybe it would be the truth if he believed it enough. Well, maybe it didn’t work like that but he tried. He always tried. He was always smaller than his mates, no matter how old he was. People might conclude that a small guy had to be weak. But Louis was not weak. To show that he could stand his own person he was always loud. He tried to let his outgoing character conceal his small figure and soft body. He didn’t know whether it worked, he would never look back and ask. One might say that he was scared that the answer could be not that satisfying. But Louis liked to tell himself that other people’s thoughts won’t affect him. He liked to see himself as self-confident. Yeah, he was strong and independent and he won’t give a shit what people might say about him.

Except, that he would always listen very careful what people had to say about him. About his attitude, about his looks, about what he said, what he did, and actually everything there was to be found about him on the internet would make its way straight into Louis’ mind. Oh, he would never tell that anybody. Nobody needs to know this. They might think he was insecure about himself or something like that. But Louis wasn’t insecure. He never was. Insecure would mean weak, and Louis was NOT weak. But to know everything about the image the world had of him wouldn’t hurt anybody. Maybe it would hurt him, but that was also a thing nobody needed to know.

Right now Louis was not that thrilled to hear all these things about him. The interviewer who was seated in front of him looked at him with an excited expression. She was like a vulture, ready for her next victim. Which she obviously had decided to be him.

His eyes flashed over the four boys beside him. He only searched instinctively for one, but he was seated as far from Louis as possible. Not that this was his wish. No, Harry would have loved to be placed directly next to Louis. But that wasn’t what management wanted. They wanted the two lovebirds to look as straight as possible, so that their female fans could continue their dreams about a relationship with Harry. Or with Louis. But Louis knew that most girls wanted Harry. Of course they wanted Harry. Who wouldn’t want him? That’s why Zayn, Niall and Liam had to sit between Harry and Louis. Which was okay, totally fine with all of them. As long as Louis could jump into Harry’s arms when the cameras were off, the fans gone, the doors closed.

But right now he needed Harry. He longed for the simple touch of Harry’s fingertips against Louis’ skin. His breath on his neck. A small whisper in Louis’ ear. Anything, really. But he needed Harry. Harry who was on the other end of the bright red sofa squished between Niall and the armrest.

They needed to sit that far away from each other since management decided to stop the Larry-Stylinson-rumors. Of course it wasn’t that easy. Those fans who believed that Harry and Louis were in love wouldn’t stop to think this way. They would analyze every photo of them, every interview, every interaction between the two of them. And of course they would find small touches, whisper, a smile or just even a stare. Louis couldn’t help, he really tried to show nearly zero signs of his love for Harry, but you can’t just interact with the love of your life as if they were only a friend. That’s simply not possible. So they were forced to completely stop interacting with each other. They mostly ignored the other boy. But it was pretty hard. Especially when they were in a tricky situation, when there was a complicated question or a mean comment. A situation like this.

Louis licked his lips like usually when he was nervous, and glared towards the curly haired boy who hold his head down and stared intensely at his knees. His broad shoulders were tense and pulled up and he seemed to hold his breath. Louis looked at his eyelashes that were perfectly still, there was no movement. Louis could tell that his love was as nervous as if the interviewer would have spoken towards him.

“So Lewis. Go on, tell your fans why you let yourself go that much these past weeks. Or may I say month? I mean we all’ve seen that you wear that tummy for a long time now”, the interviewer said.

Louis flinched. No. No, no, no, not his tummy! Louis knew that he wasn’t the best looking out of the boys and he for sure knew that he had a tummy. He had always had a bit of a tummy. He didn’t really like to work out, that was simply not his kind of sports. He wanted to have fun. That’s why he played football often. But his tummy wouldn’t go away and he knew it. He knew that he looked bad. He was totally aware of that fact. Often he would chance his position so that his tummy and his ass and all those wrong parts of his body wouldn’t be on display on photos. He always thought about his fat and possibilities to hide it. And he also knew that the fans noticed his plump body. He read every single comment about that topic. But he wasn’t prepared to be asked about this while on live TV!

“Uhmm… uh… well”, he glanced towards Harry again who’d now changed his expression from tense to angry. Really angry. But his lips were pressed together tightly so that no rude comment would slip past them.

Louis began to sweat. His heart raced in his chest and it nearly felt as if it would hop out of it and run away as far away as possible. He pressed his clamp hands tightly together and kneaded them in hope to find a good answer this way. But there was no answer in Louis’ head. There was nothing. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t deny his tummy as well as he couldn’t promise to get rid of it soon. He had no real excuse to why he even got a tummy in the first place and there was just one thing he could possibly think of.

“’m sorry”, he mumbled lowly while dropping his head in shame and looking at his cramped fingers on his way too thick thighs. If that wasn’t enough of a pitiful appearance his voice went high at the end which sounded embarrassingly like a sob. Of course that was not a sob. Louis wouldn’t sob in public. He wasn’t that weak. But maybe he was. Maybe he really was that pathetic and maybe he was even more disgusting than he had thought. Were his cheeks red of embarrassment, now they turned white. His blood disappeared completely from his face and his brain and even his feet. He couldn’t feel anything. He could only think about his fat and see his fat in is head and hear those comments in his ears. Again and again.

Louis didn’t pay the interview any attention anymore. He was stuck inside his head which was a hell of bad feelings. If he had looked, he would have seen four enraged faces that showed openly their disgust for that unbelievably rude question. If he had listened, he would have heard those furious answers the four boys next to him gave the perplexed interviewer. And maybe he would have heard those lovely praises of his body and personality his bandmates made to try and protect his beloved friend.

But Louis didn’t see or hear. He couldn’t. It was too much. The whole situation was such an open humiliation that he didn’t know who to hate more. The awful interviewer or himself. Because she said the truth. He could have been angry if she told lies but she didn’t. Everything she said was the truth. And Louis was to blame for that truth.

Sometime the interview was over. Or maybe they just went on break, but as soon as the camera went off of them Louis got up off the sofa. He couldn’t look up at the fans who sat in the audience or the interviewer or the boys. He couldn’t raise his eyes from the wooden floor that luckily hadn’t some eyes which could pity him. He felt a lot of piercing glares all over his body and he knew that they all just wanted to know what he would say now. Everyone knew that Louis sass was to be feared. After that rude question everybody must have expected him to shoot against that woman. But Louis didn’t plan that at all. Nothing like that. Actually he hadn’t some angry energy in himself anymore. He didn’t even have any clear thought. Everything that rushed through his mind were those comments about his body and next to them pics of him that showed how fat he really was. How dared he show up to an interview where everybody could see him like that. How dared he start a music career while looking like that? Why did he ever go to the X-Factor? Was he insane? He should have used his energies to lose some weight. Now, that would have been a good idea. But now he was here and he was in a band. A Band with millions of fans who all loved all of the boys but him. Everyone talked about him and looked at him and judged him and he just couldn’t believe how he dared to show up to this interview. How he dared to be in this band anymore.

All those thoughts rushed through his mind but he just stood there for a maximum of 5 seconds. His breathing sped up and he quickly turned to run out of the studio. He had no orientation in this foreign building but he ran as fast as he could to find some place without people. A place where he could be alone, where he was not to be seen. He couldn’t stand these stares anymore. He couldn’t stand these unspoken thoughts any longer which made his view blurry so that the ground wasn’t that easily to be seen. But that didn’t stop him from running. He ran and ran and then he suddenly burst through a heavy door and was blinded by sunlight. Finally!

He stumbled outside and ran right to a hidden spot behind some old containers. There he slid down the metallic side of one container and let himself bump onto the hard ground. He tried to catch his breath and startled as a sob was to be heard. No, he thought, not crying! Crying was for the weak and Louis was NOT weak. From then it was all downhill. After the first sob there were tears and not long until he was full on crying. He pressed his hands over his eyes to try and stop the tears from falling. He was so embarrassed! Not only because of his body and of the comments but now also because of his pathetic crying like a 5 year old. But he couldn’t help it. His embarrassment made him just crying harder and every try to suppress his whimpering was useless. He never felt so helpless. He’d never had control over his body, had never been able to make his tummy disappear.

He tried to calm down and think about something good. Harry! Of course, thinking of Harry is always a pleasure. But, oh god! Harry! And the boys! And all the other people who sat in that studio, and all the people who watched this show at home! And he ran away at least in front of the people in the audience. What do they think about him and his sudden exit? How could he be so thoughtless? He should have been waiting until the show was definitely over and they all said their goodbyes. But no, Louis had to pull this dramatic exit and now everybody will talk about him and how whiny he was just because someone mentioned his very obvious problem. And that only made Louis cry even harder.

He didn’t know how long he sat there crying like a baby, face buried deep in his arms. But then he felt a soft touch on his shoulder and a familiar warmth that pressed against his side.

“Boo?” That was Harry. His Hazza. Of course it was him! “Hey, baby, look at me!” But Louis couldn’t look up. Not even for Harry. He was too embarrassed. So he just shook his head. He heard Harry sigh very softly and then his body was being held tightly against Harry’s chest.

“Come ‘ere, Boo, it’s okay, shhh.” Harry tried to soothe him and Louis really wanted to stop crying but there were so many tears and they all wanted so desperately to come out that he couldn’t help himself. He cried a while longer and Harry wouldn’t stop to whisper soft words into his ears, to rub circles down his back and to hold him tight and secure in his embrace. Louis felt the steady heartbeat of his boyfriend beneath his hands and slowly his breathing slowed down. The tears stopped and he was tired and felt so, so weak.

He felt a soft kiss in his hair and slowly looked up. His view was still a bit blurred by all the tears. But he had no trouble in finding those green eyes he loved so much.

“’m sorry”, he choked out for the second time this day.

“No! Nothing of that”, Harry interrupted him. “I’m so sorry for what she said, Lou, I thought I’d kill her right then and there. She had no right to say something like that.”

“But it’s not that she lied”, Louis whispered.

“What? What do you mean, Boo?”

“Well, I do have a tummy. I always had it. I never worked hard enough to make it go away. I just…”

“Louis, what are you talking about? What this disgusting woman said was rude and very wrong!”, he said with a strong voice and angry glistening eyes. Louis shuddered. It was not very often when he was able to see Harry this enraged. It was a bit frightening. His breath caught in his throat and Harry instantly took Louis’ face between his big hands and kissed his forehead.

“I’m sorry”, he mumbled against the skin under his lips. When he pulled away he lowered his head so that he could look Louis straight in the eyes. “You are beautiful, baby. So beautiful. And I love you so, so much. You know that, right?”, Harry said with a now smooth deep voice. His intense and at the same time so loving stare made Louis’ stomach tingle. He nodded stiffly, even though he still couldn’t understand what the hell Harry loved about him. He was just Louis! Just Louis and as far as he’s concerned that was really not enough reason to be loved. But he loved Harry. He loved him with everything he had. And when he looked into Harrys beautiful green eyes like right now he felt as if that was his whole world and he didn’t need anything or anyone else to be alive and to be happy. ‘Cause Harry was everything he wanted and everything he needed. So his response came automatically.

“I love you, too, Hazzy. I love you, too.”

“Will you then please believe me when I’m telling you that your body is perfect? Because it is, it really is. I can’t get enough from you and from your glorious curves. You have no idea what they do to me!” It wasn’t the first time Harry told him something like that but it still brought a silly pink to his cheeks and he lowered his gaze towards his fingers that still lingered at Harry’s chest.

“God, Lou, you really drive me crazy, can’t you see that?” At the end Harry’s voice was barely a whisper anymore. A soft breath that Louis could feel brush above his face. He let out a little gasp and new tears tingled in his eyes. What? How could that be? Sure, Harry told him often how much he loved him and that he was beautiful and so on. But Louis thought that was just the stuff lovers told each other. Even though he meant everything he ever said to Harry doesn’t mean it was the same the other way around.

“B-but how?” Louis voice was desperate now and he hated how he sounded. Like a small child with no confidence and no strength. When did he become such a whiny little shit? He didn’t want to be that weak but he had no idea how he could change that. The only thing he really knew in that moment was that he really needed his Hazza. He needed him to be there, to hold him tight and to explain him why he would stay with him.

“Oh baby, oh my, you really have no idea, right?” Harry pulled Louis tighter into his embrace and cradled the smaller boys head in his bigger hand. Louis wasn’t sure if two people could be any closer that they were. There was literally no space between them. It was exactly what Louis wanted. But Harry always knew what Louis wanted and needed the most. Harry knew him so well. Louis couldn’t remember since when it became that way. He just remembered Harry to be always there. Since ever. He was just there for Louis, always had an ear, would always cuddle with Louis when the latter needed it the most. But Louis never told him what he wanted. Harry would just say that HE really needed a proper cuddle. But maybe, Louis thought, maybe Harry just didn’t want to make him uncomfortable ‘because he knew Louis never want to seem weak. Ever. But Harry knew. Of course he knew.

Suddenly Louis needed to see Harry’s face. His beautiful face which he remembered so well. But to see it now, in that exact moment was a necessity for Louis. He pulled back and replaced his hands on Harry’s chest to push him a bit. Harry confusedly let go of him and rested his hands lightly onto Louis waist. His eyebrows furrowed and it was obvious that Louis withdrawing made him think he said something wrong. But as soon as he saw the expression on Louis face the furrow disappeared and he took Louis head between his big hands.

“You really love me, don’t you?”, Louis asked and his voice sounded so surprised that Harry couldn’t help but to let out a little laugh.

“Yes, yes of course I do, you silly!” He shook Louis head lightly and smiled his gorgeous dimpled smile that Louis loved so much. Louis couldn’t hold back and giggled a bit when Harry placed their foreheads together. That bright smile was still there and Louis put automatically his index finger into Harrys left dimple. If it was possible Harry’s smile just grew wider.

“I love you, too, you know. I couldn’t ever explain to you how much I love you. But you need to know that I do. And I’m so unbelievably happy that I have you. Thank you so much, Hazzy. For staying with me. And for catching up with my shit. I know I’m not easy to handle but I try. I just want it to be you and I forever.”

“And that’s just what I want, as well.”, Harry murmured before he kissed his love tender to let the kiss show what words couldn’t tell. Louis closed his eyes and felt something flutter in his stomach. It’s like the first time, he thought. But something was different. Yes, the kiss felt just as good as four years ago. But know he felt so much more. Now Harry meant so much more to him and the thought of four more years with Harry made him ecstatic. He wanted that. He wanted it all with Harry. He wanted to grow old with him and to never be apart from him.

It was a long kiss and Louis still wasn’t sure of the show was over now. So he pulled back and stared into Harry bright green eyes for a while. Then he sighed and asked: “Don’t we need to go back? They are waiting for me, right?”

Harry sighed as well. “Well, yes, they do. But if you don’t want to go back it’s perfectly fine. We can just go home, all right? All I want is for you to be fine, baby. I don’t care what they will say. Nobody is important but you.” With that he pecked Louis lips once more and the butterflies in Louis stomach might went crazy in there.

“No. We can’t just go. I won’t run away again.” He really didn’t want to go back in there and face that interviewer and all those people who saw his embarrassing appearance. But he just needed to do that. “You know, as long as you’re with me I think I can do everything. You make me so strong, Hazzy.”

It isn’t necessary to say that after that they stayed one more moment behind those containers to be all kissy and blushing and so, so happy. Because, yeah, Harry made Louis strong and maybe that meant that Louis indeed was weak. But maybe that wasn’t so bad when it meant to be held in Harry long arms. Is it so wrong to need a person that much? Is that so wrong? Never, Louis thought, and felt as strong as ever.


End file.
